Wind & Thoughts
Lately I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about how to stay “creative“ or I shall say keep myself excited for creating stuff like photos, doodles, these blogs... anything. I am going to keep this short as I don't want to bore you to death with what’s going on between my ears.
At first–when these thoughts came to my head I did have zero idea what are they? Why I’m feeling and thinking in such a way? I ignored them, but the excitement kept falling down and need of answers for the feelings or whatever you want to call it was getting bigger.
As long as I can remember right, I’ve been battling this weird snarl of thoughts for almost a year and I still don’t have definitive answer. To be honest, at times it was pretty hard. I felt I was pushing myself a lot to take photos everyday, to draw this and that, thing about this, solve that… until my brain was like f*ck it! I did not know that brains can do such a thing, no one told, nor in school. I had to learn the hard way in my late thirties.
Funny or not it sucked until I have discovered a book that pointed me in the right direction. I haven’t read that many books but this one is my favorite and I can recommend it to anyone having these creative doubts, thoughts, hard to describe things going on in their head. The book is The Creative Act by Rick Rubin.
What also helps with battling these thoughts is doing something what you really like. In my case it is riding my bike with friends or alone I don’t care, the feeling of movement gives freedom to my head and to my physical me. So wether you like the same thing as me or you like cooking, drawing, cleaning.. it can be whatever–do it. You don't have to wait for anyone, or anyone’s approval, it’s okay to be a little bit selfish in this way. If it makes you happy it will likely make others happy too.
I am still at the beginning of my battle but it feels really good to know in what direction make the next move. The wrong habits are still rooted deep and they’re tough to brake or change.
It can all feel like a windy night ride. You start out covered in the city by buildings and streets. Then you transfer to forests where trees take over. But once you exit the forest into the dark fields a wind hits you out of nowhere. At first your legs and mind is strong. You ambitiously think you can make it. However wind is holding you back and in the darkness you can't see the finish so you push harder. At a certain point you get exhausted, your mind gets broken and you give up. Then a friend, or a patch of trees, or a long building comes and you regain your strength and hope. Suddenly you can see the right direction–not to be so hard on yourself–there is a finish line in sight. When you reach that awaited finish there will usually be a reward waiting for you. This time it was beer.
Not only wind can hold you back, also a flat tyre does the job.
